Saturday, December 20, 2008


I work, eat, sleep. I have been working doubles (lunch and dinner) all week. It is draining life out of me daily. I love my family more than anything else this world could offer. I love my family morw then the $100 or around that I make per day I work a double. Money is nothing to someone without love. If I had all the money in the world and I did not have my father to listen to my complaints, my husband to laugh with or my mother to argue with I would be beyond depressed. I worry about my mother all the time; I also cherish the days she is full of life and smiles. I am my mother's daughter and I love her despite her faults. We all have faults and it up to us as humans to make the decision to correct our faults.
I continue to live my life although my brother's came to end in May. I continue to get out of bed, eat, and work. I continue to drive down the interstate and yell at people who have lost their ability to drive. As I continue to live my life I think of my brother. I hear him come inside from smoking a cigarette, I hear the slap of our hands as he gives me a high five. I hear him laugh with my Dad as we watch his favorite show, "King of Queens." The sad part of hearing my brother is that I never heard him ask for help. Did he keep secrets? Of course, we all do. I am ending this with listen to your family and friends and cherish them with all you have in you. You never know what tomorrow brings.

Sunday, December 14, 2008


I am alone. Rudy and Daddy went to play the Par 3. Rudy's parents are also visiting but went to church and still have not gotten back yet. I finished another Jodi Picoult novel which turned out to be one of my favorites. I love to read; it is like jumping into another's world. As I read I imagine the scenes in my head. They are so detailed and much more interesting than a movie. I read incredibly fast and it baffles Rudy. A long novel of five hundred pages takes three days tops, less if I have nothing to do. Putting a book down for any period of time is like pausing a movie in the middle of it's climax. People just do not do that. One of goals as a teacher (I am going back to school) is to bury a love of books into children. Reading broadens the imagination wheras movies already do all the work for the viewers. Yes, I am back in school but I am also getting my master's degree. I have a degree in marketing and can not find my niche. Of course a part of my decision is the schedule of a teacher. They get the major holidays off as well as the summer. This is not because I am lazy but for my future family. I want to be the best mother and I know I will not be able to be home with them all the time. This is the next best thing. A child needs their parents to be involved and happy to be involved. I do not want my children to have keys to the house while Rudy and I work until 6 at night. I want to be at home eager to help with homework or take them to soccer practice. I know life is not all roses, believe me I know. I also believe it takes a lot of effort to raise a child that wants to make something of himself. Consistency between both parents is a must. I do not have children, but you can trust that I hve seen parenting first hand. I will not get into details on this, it is to much information for strangers. It is odd to see what is really on your mind after writing an entire blog. I started writing this "untitled" because I did not have a subject but this has turned out well.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Wonderful Husband

Rudy and I have been going to sushi once a week (on the discount night) for months. We skipped last week and virtually spent nothing on food for the week. I have a final today at 4 so we decided to have sushi, splurge for fried rice and Brewster's as well last night. I decided to call this a "date night" because Rudy suggested we finally use the movie coupons. We both wanted to see Four Christmases' so we stopped by the theatre and Rudy got tickets. I assumed Four Christmases' and off to Wal-Mart we went for bananas and milk. We get home and the dogs are begging for a quick walk, and I also really need to go to the restroom. The dogs are first and while I am washing my hands Rudy shows me the movie tickets. He bought "Twilight" tickets, and I was so happy. I literally jumped and down for around two minutes and we left. The book was amazing and the movie was not quite as amazing but off the charts. Any book allows the reader to imagine the scene on their own, so for me some of the characters did not come out the same in the movie. The Cullen's did for sure, gorgeous. All in all it was a wonderful night with a wonderful husband.

Friday, December 5, 2008

My day...

I am currently a server at Dale's Southern Grill and today was my third shift. I did a lot better today than last night. Dinners are definitely harder than lunches. I am going back in a half a hour; my first double. I am not extremely tired but just worried. The computer scares me which falls back to the menu scaring me. I just got off work and it was not totally bad. I had three booths and one extra table; I did well. I am learning the computer; tonight was so much more productive than Thursday night.
I am in love with my husband. He joined my parents tonight at Dale's for dinner. I came up to get their drinks and I thought to myself, "That's my husband." You do not really see your family from other's point of views until you are their server. I could hear them conversate about me (very weird) and just day to day stuff. I learned how other servers see my mother (annoyingly undecisive), my father (ordering for his wife) and my husband who is thinking why did I take the invite to eat with my in-laws. My mother is overly needy which forces me to sprint back and forth to her table. That brings up another thought, I am also overly needy when I go out to eat. Back to why I am in love with my husband. I was jealous of my family tonight; I wanted to go out to eat as well. I tell the three of them this information and my father tells me he will make it up on Sunday (my only day off). I am asking if they want dessert and I already know they do not want it. We never order dessert at restaurants, but my wonderful husband says lets get red velvet cake to go for Jennifer. My heart turns flips that he thought of that and I immediately agree and send it back to the kitchen. I sometimes think that Rudy does not keep me in his thoughts as much as he should (on my scale). However, he always proves me wrong when he does things like that.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

First Blog

I am sitting in my apartment with two dogs waiting on Rudy to get home. When I worked fifty hours a week at Enterprise-Rent-A-Car; I would think to myself I want to be sitting at home. I have learned from the silence in this apartment except for the occassional barks I would rather work. I would not want to work fifty hours and especially not at ERAC. When I am at home I watch television or read. Episodes of "Yes, Dear" and "King of Queens" I have seen one hundred times or more. I still literally laugh out loud and everytime I do I think of Montana Fain. Montana is my best friend since I worked at McAlister's Deli in Auburn. You think "best friend"; that is so elementary school. To be honest with you I have never had a best friend, ever. I can not find words that describe Montana. We both have watched each other change over our friendship. We have never fought, except once. She remembers that "once" I am sure. Anyways, the reason why I think of Montana when I watch these two hilarious TV shows is because I came in from class one day and she said I laughed out loud to "Reba" today by myself. Try it one day when your alone and take notice.
Rudy. I married him October 25, 2008. He is a wonderful man and makes me laugh constantly. He cooks and not just because he loves me. He cooks because I am not a blessed cook at all. I try and it still turns out bad. Rudy loves pictures which I found annoying after a while. Then I turned on the computer one day and saw Christopher. Christopher Douglas Hester, my brother, died in May a few days after his 21st birthday. Why? I will never know although every day I try to answer that question. As I skipped through pictures I found one of my brother and my father. My father is my other best friend and that is the truth. I told him on my wedding day that if he was female he would have been my maid of honor. That picture which was taken during a break from beer pong is amazing in every sense of the word. Christopher looked so happy that day with his big beautiful smile and his arm around his father. His father who he had an up and down relationhip with on a constant basis. The father that struggled every day with how to deal with him. The father that would not allow him to do what he wanted. The father that I know loved him very much. Rudy took that picture because Christopher said, "Get one with me and Daddy." Yes, we called our father Daddy. Rudy did not know that my brother would be gone in May but now I appreciate his love for photography and never complain.
I am sure you will learn more about Christopher, I think of memories all the time.