Tuesday, January 27, 2009

So Busy!

I am so busy with school and work. I am loving school and to be honest work is not horrible. The people I work with make me laugh and I make pretty good money. I basically work three doubles a week and hopefully bring home more than three hundred dollars which is awesome for me. I have worked in part time retail while in school and a two week paycheck would be less than hundred dollars. We went to South Carolina this past weekend to help Rudy's dad move out of his apartment. They have a ton of stuff and Bill did not throw anything away the entire weekend. I moved so many times in Auburn and my trash piles were as tall as me and I if I had not done that there would be not be any room in our current apartment. Rudy's mom, Carmen, had to fly to Spain early due to her mom having a stroke. As soon as Carmen arrived her mother starting making improvements which is wonderful for their family. We got back to Birmingham on Sunday and that was a long day to say the least. After unloading a new couch and two new bookshelves we drove to Tarrant to take a futon and the old bookshelves to Rudy's co-worker, Sylvio. It does not end there. The U-Haul had to be returned and Rudy did an excellent job of backing it into a parking place but he could not get it off the hitch. He worked with it for over five minutes while this older man parked his and unhitched it in less than two minutes. As we stand there still working with the stubborn U-Haul this nice man gets out of his car and comes over to help. He gives Rudy a mental high five by letting him know he has done everything right and then within a second pops the U-Haul right off the hitch. I laugh and Rudy says, "Oh man" and the nice man is gone with a good deed under his belt. Later that evening Rudy says out loud, "I knew the man was going to help because he has inner beauty." We are watching this new show titled, "Inner Beauty" so Rudy and I keep an out for inner beauty. On that show the contestants are very attractive but must prove their inner beauty and each week Rudy and I ask each other would I do that? Would I give my sit up for an elderly person, would I help a lost child find their parent, would I help someone up from a bike crash? Yes, I know I would and if it was a dangerous situation I would call for help. The contestants definitely do not pass all of their tests and it makes me very sad that there are such self centered people out there. Just so you know I am not perfect and may be selfish sometimes as well. But you know you got to pamper yourself every once in a while.

Thursday, January 1, 2009


I have a lot of topics to discuss today so this one will be "Untitled." I had Christmas Eve with my parents and Rudy. We had plans to leave that night for South Carolina so we decided to open gifts on Christmas Eve instead of after we got back. I got everything I wanted but the entire time I felt if something were missing. My brother was missing from the wrapping paper, music, laughter, and food. I sit on the floor in a new room of a new house and wonder what it would be like if Christopher was here. Would he be happy? Would he be in jail? Would we be at the jail visiting him? Would he be have wanted to go to rehab and be in the process of changing his life? I will never know those answers so I think that where is he right now and on Christmas Eve is exactly where he wants to be. I think he is looking down on me while I open Wii Fit making jokes about my big butt. I believe he is looking down on my father while he opens a picture of the two them thinking, "He loved me." He looks down on my mother wishing that she find relief from the emotional pain she goes through on a constant basis.

We got to South Carolina after midnight and went directly to bed. The next morning we went to Ceal's apartment to watch the girls open Santa Claus' gifts. I sat there in their apartment remembering when I had Santa Claus. I immediately decided that Christopher and I were beyond spoiled. I also remembered how life was so easy then. The worst that could have happened was not having batteries for a new toy. I look back and ask myself, "Did I cherish him?" As a child with a sibling you do not think the worst, ever. I look at Grace and Audrey and pray for their relationship to be amazing and they rely on each other for everything. It is so hard for me to watch siblings of any age and not feel pain. They have each other but I still have a brother and will forever although he is not here physically.