I am taking four graduate classes this semester and working but I know God will only give me what I can handle. I try to say this to myself each morning during prayer. I have so many detailed assignments to complete plus lab hours; it is very easy to become overwhelmed. I have put my calendar (with every due date, appointment, work hours) in His hands; I no longer sweat over the small things. I take it day by day (I start projects early) but I know that I can do this work and be a wife with God's help. It is funny because you can not hear, see, smell, or touch God but I know He is right here with me all the time. Please notice I left out one of the senses: feel. I feel God's presence because I have chosen Him above worldly things and He gave His Son to forgive me for my sins. Although I went to a Christian school for 12 years I honestly can say it is up to you to make the choice to live a life according to God's will. Many times I felt forced to be something I was not or was not ready for but throughout those years God was working in me. One day over the Christmas break I opened my Bible and began reading verses. I had seen the verses before in Bible class but I was seeing the same words with new eyes and an open heart. I am not perfect and I still have a long way to go on this journey. I sin everyday and I still have personal fears but those fears are at rest more in this last month then ever before. One thing I am working on is to have a more positive attitude. I try to go into work or class with a smile and with positive thoughts. As hard as it may be to believe a positive outlook changes everything. There are still customers that are difficult and do not leave the best tips but it does not anger me as much now. I say to myself, "I know what I have been through but I do not have a clue about their lives." Everyone has bad days and I try to be understanding. This life on earth is not promised to anyone so I choose to LOVE each day I am given.
*I got a message from someone that has been reading my blog and this truly touches my heart. Writing releases a lot of feelings for me and if my words speak to anyone else; it is a blessing from God! Thank you!